Do you feel like a fraud?

Jess · Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 4:43 am Post subject: Do you feel like a fraud?

I'm getting paranoid. I worry that sooner or later, my supervisor, my department, fellow PhD students, my housemate and even my parents are going to realise that:
a) I'm not as clever, capable, or knowledgable as they always thought, and
b) My research and ideas are not as big/exciting/valid/comprehensive/meaningful as everyone elses.

Anyone else live with this fear of being found out? I've already heard it from 2 other completely independent sources today.

My major concern is that my moment of truth is looming just 12 days away, when I have to deliver my research proposal infront of the faculty and Dean. I might be hunted with pitchforks and burnt at the stake.

erk ksatria · Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 4:46 am Post subject:

YES!

Especially now, as a postdoc, I feel it even worse. Somehow I escaped detection during the postgrad, and I still feel like I am going to be found at any moment. And the longer I leave admitting it, the worse it's going to get... *whimper*

Over time I suppose we can only do our best...

Kem · Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 4:56 am Post subject:

Impostor Syndrome.

We were lectured on this in our first week in the Ph.D programme. Apparently, almost everyone in academia's got it.

So I guess you're on the right track, Jess and erk...

jaxau · Joined: 09 Aug 2006 Posts: 12 Location: Australia

oh yes ... thats me too - didnt even know it had a name!

I am also facing delivery of my proposal in a few short weeks. I realised just yesterday that my entire effort so far is complete crap and I dont even have a methodology to speak of ... Embarassed

I am surprised I even made it into the phd program right now...most days I dont even know what I am doing here Shocked

All I can see is humiliation beckoning in front of the entire faculty ... or, at least, humiliation in front of the very few that turn up to phd proposal presentations ...

archaeo1 · Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 5:04 am Post subject:

I'll join you on this...although some days it goes away, truly it does. It gets stronger, though, when you run into/hear about child prodigies who have life it practically made in the shade no matter what they do....

Sigh...

back to work.

Monacha · Joined: 18 Jul 2006 Posts: 280 Location: United States

Ummm....yeah. I don't think I know anyone who doesn't feel that way.

operant · Joined: 27 Jun 2006 Posts: 486 Location: New Zealand

cultureslayer · Joined: 04 Jul 2006 Posts: 850

oh yes, part of the reason I want to take the LSAT. I want to have a backup plan in case I can't make it in the lab.

Angua · Joined: 28 Jun 2006 Posts: 9837 Location: Rocket City

Yep, I feel like an imposter all the time. Reading the Wikipedia article, I realised that they could have used me as the prototype.

evilmoose · Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 7:52 am Post subject:

Yep, you can add me to the statistics too. I don't always feel that way, but all of those symptoms sound very familiar.

silewis · Joined: 26 Jun 2006 Posts: 1169 Location: London, UK

Oh yes, that sounds so familiar. I'm glad we're obviously not alone in these feelings. Sometimes i find that no matter what people say about my achievements i get the feeling i shouldn't be where i am!

Bugs · Joined: 30 Jun 2006 Posts: 2829 Location: London, UK

Yep, sign me up too! That wiki could've been written for me.

Once again, it's a relief to know that I'm not the only one who occasionally thinks "AAAARRGGH!".

ellie · Joined: 28 Jun 2006 Posts: 6618 Location: ellieland

oh yes, i have a dreadful case of imposter syndrome too. i can only imagine that most people i know have it too (henry certainly does).

~m~ · Joined: 08 Aug 2006 Posts: 218 Location: Nottingham, UK

Oh my god. Do you mean I have spent 4 years feeling exactly like this, and all the time everyone else is feeling the same way too? Why did no-one tell me??? We never get a talk about it in our first year.... Neutral

For me I felt fine during undergrad, but have felt like a total imposter ever since. I think it's greatly enhanced by the lack of constant ways to monitor your progress (homework that gets marked, exams, etc) which you have to reassure yourself when you're an undergrad.

This is probably my most hated thing about my PhD, and probably the second biggest reason why I'm dropping out of academia as soon as it's finished.

ianatkin · Joined: 26 Jun 2006 Posts: 610 Location: Sheffield, England

Never has such a syndrome/posting so fully described how I feel... in fact, myself and my friends comment almost weekly on it.... "no really, this meeting is the one where he's really going to find me out - I'm doomed!!" etc etc...

I wondered if it was a partially a cultural thing. I mean, historically speaking British people are fairly modest and don't like to brag about their achievements and successes. I thought that maybe we were just making the logical extension of that. But if it equally afflicts others around the world then maybe that's not the case at all.